How adjusting your perspective can change EVERYTHING!
They say it’s better to tell a hard truth than to tell a lie, which is even more true when it comes to what we tell ourselves. The best thing we can do for ourselves is embrace the sting of the truth so we can get to healing and growth.
Breaking the patterns that makes us people-pleasers is some beautifully hard work.
While writing some content to describe my business, I found myself wondering if I should find another term for “people-pleasing” that softened the blow a bit. Then I was like wait, that IS people-pleasing! I was triggered similarly when I found out I had breast cancer, thinking about having to tell people. As a recovering people-pleaser, it's a natural response to want to tend to everyone else's feelings when sharing this kind of news. Suddenly, I remembered that this discomfort would be one more means of growth in my journey and all I could do was accept it.
See, it’s not that we want to avoid being triggered - it’s life and we’re human. We simply want to know what to do when we are triggered - it’s going to happen. There’s no way to predict what challenges we’re going to face in our lives, so we can’t truly prepare for it. And why would we want to? That would be so boring. What we can be ready for is facing whatever comes with courage and grace.
We often think that because we know better, we should then be able to do better going forward. Well yes, we should! And sometimes, it doesn’t go that way. Like working out. Giving in to excuses like sleeping too late to skip the workout only results in the sting of, “Yep, I’d sure be feeling more energized this afternoon if I had just worked out like I’d planned!” Be courageous enough to admit that you let yourself down and then give yourself grace as well. Face the music and sing along while you get back on track.
It’s easy to beat ourselves up because we “know better” but the truth is that we just can’t possibly know better about ALL the things ALL the time. We’re going to slip!
So the next time you lose your shit because you over-boiled the pasta or you’re pissed because the clothes you forgot in the dryer are now wrinkled and you’re going to have to dry them again so you can hopefully remember to hang them up while they’re still warm… I challenge you to pause. Pause, have a little giggle, and shake your head a bit (you know there’s bound to be something ridiculous about your reaction to this situation). Sometimes we need to embrace the sting to know that we’re alright to keep moving forward. Then ask yourself - what part of this will ultimately shape my life?
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