When shit goes sideways, adjust your position to keep your eye on the goal.
The thing about grief is that it can hit in so many ways. It’s true when people say, “Everyone grieves differently.” We do. And in different circumstances, too. I didn’t grieve the same way when my grandma passed away as I did when ending a long-time friendship that I thought would be #BFF #forevaeva all over social media to this day. In both cases, though, I had to adapt to a life that would no longer include those people. Shit went sideways real quick and the grief began. Grief shifts you into a whole new position.
The idea of processing grief can seem scary, though we grieve little things all the time when we let the little shit go. Oh no, my internet went down?! It’s cool. Perfect time to get up and walk a bit… it’s probably been too long since you stretched anyway. Boom! That’s quick and dirty grief right there.
For all of the grief you’re bound to face in this life, you’re also bound to hit a wall and not know where to go. Grief is not just about death. Romantic breakups, loss of a friendships, health issues, places we once lived, job shit, lost opportunities, a life we thought we'd have by now - these are situations that we must grieve.
When systems break down, that’s a sign of growth!!
Totally makes sense, doesn’t it? The current system cannot keep up with the powerful processing that’s going on with this thing we’ve never dealt with before, so it shuts down to get our attention. And when we’re ready to face that wall head-on, here’s how to move forward.
Take responsibility for our part Acknowledge our role in the breakdown. Clearly identify the issue and what’s no longer working. Ask yourself: What role did I play in this?
Process our emotions about the new reality Acknowledge what we have control of and the power that gives us. Explore the possibilities that come with such a change. Ask yourself: How do I want to feel?
Create new expectations Acknowledge the possibilities of a positive ending. Take pride in knowing you’ll be more prepared to process grief again. Ask yourself: What is my new goal?
When we lose something we’ve become comfortable with, grief is inevitable. The key is learning to become the person you want to be, living with that loss. You can choose to live with resentment over losing what you thought you couldn’t live without. OR… you can choose the perspective where you see the incredible opportunities this life presents when shit goes sideways. What position will you choose?
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